I will not pay the ferryman
1)
I buried some friends.
I heard of the death of someone I loved.
I think I’ve done my bit for mourning.
I’m so fed up with death - that useless clown,
prancing on furnaces and bits of fake grass.
Safe from death for now we mime the hymns,
treasuring the failures that we came to bury.
2)
This is my testament:
I loved to live and did not go gentle.
3)
Eyes closed, I can see the bone,
waiting for the flesh to melt.
I breathe thin air;
I claw at straws I had no wish to draw.
4)
To tell the truth, I do not want to die.
I want to live forever.
I am not curious enough to see beyond the grave,
to hear Keats laughing at his epitaph:
Here lies - all lies;
I know they say that Death is one of them
but I don’t care.
I can’t embrace belief that needs His markers.
5)
I died so many times already.
I buried years and years and that’s enough of that.
I witnessed death;
I witnessed the banalities of comfort.
God help me but I can’t embrace finality.
I cannot rest in peace.
6)
I know that suns and Gods must die;
I grudgingly admit the human race is a nine days’ wonder.
And yet I do not want to die;
I do not see the need for graves.
The fact that plastic garbage bags will yet outlive me
fills me with fury.
That you, my love, must die like I: an outrage.
7)
Time - Time stop and hold Your breath and burst.
Choke on my flesh, poisoned with life
and too stubborn to listen.
Now, grave’s markers can not touch me now.
8)
I won’t pretend to understand the pain and glory of eternity
and well, quite frankly, I don’t give a damn.
I only know I do not want to die
and will not pay the ferryman one fucking obol.
I will stay behind and wave and watch that boat,
so heavy with souls, move across the Styx.
9)
When my flesh returns to clay,
I shall haunt the worlds to come;
I will not forfeit the works of man.
Don’t try to woo me with harp or houri:
I won’t be won - I will not come.
I will not bid farewell to this here skull;
my bones will mock you in a danse macabre.
10)
Sing, sweet angels, if you dare:
I’m deaf as the wise old snake
and I shall crawl if need be;
I shall bite the hands that try to carry me;
I will not come.